I never thought I'd ever have an eating disorder. When I was young I thought, I'm skinny, I'll never have to starve myself and throwing up? That's disgusting. Now looking at myself I'm disgusted. I'm naturally thin but other girls seem so much skinnier. I hate my stomach it's "fluffy." I hated the way clothes fit especially when I'm shopping and some boney, blue-eyed blonde, looks-like-a-model is browsing the racks next to me. Or the tan, tall, size 0, 16 year old working the register. I hated shopping. I also read those dumb magazines with tiny girls in tinier clothes. Seventeen tells me to "love my body" but every girl knows that's impossible. Instead of signing peace treaties with my "fluff" I cut out pictures of bone revealing girls and stuff them under my bed. And at night, I work out in my room doing seemingly endless jumping jacks, leg lifts, squats and crunches. I look in the mirror and pinch my fat until it bruises. I hate my body. - Olivia
I looked around my closet to find an over-sized flannel to fit in. That's pretty much what all the stoners at my school wore, their life style is something I wished desperately to adopt. I thought about drugs constantly. What I'd be smoking, who I would be with, how it would feel. I wished for the feeling of being high, I'd never experienced it though. All my friends thought I would have by now. I'd bought myself small gauges, fallen in love with multiple stoners and randomly brought up drugs. But I haven't done it yet, I'm waiting for the perfect moment. - Amanda
This story is going to be diary entries of two twins.. I'm not sure if I like it yet.. Let me know!